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Monday, February 24, 2014

Preserving Sunday: Making Saturday a Day of Work

There is a real temptation to have Saturday be a stay-in-our-PJs-until-lunch sort of day.

Dada is home. One kid usually sleeps later. One spouse usually sleeps later. The fridge is usually stocked with groceries from shopping. It just sorta happens that we lounge around.

Ready to leave the house!
But I'm not going to lie (haha, pun intended!) - these relaxed Saturday mornings aren't really good for the family or us as individuals.

Even though Tyler and I aren't into DIY all that much, we both love love love accomplishing goals - it really helps us to feel productive and positive about ourselves and how we are caring for the family.

So the Saturdays that we wake up, follow our morning routine, and are out of the door mid-morning (be it to go into the yard or run errands), we find that Sunday becomes that much more of a family day.

When we do have a slow, easy Saturday then Sunday becomes a day of boom and bust (laundry CANNOT be untended for more than 24 hours in our family) and fitting mass in in-between. Not how it should be.

So, I sort of took Auntie Leila's advice about Sunday (PLEASE PLEASE read that link - its a great read!!!) and gnawed on it and discerned it and realized that IF Sunday is to have a time-of-day/outing/event that is family-centered and restful and rejuvenating then I need to make sure to do what I can on Saturday. I think I even read another article or heard a priest say that more effort might need to be made; that mommas might have to work harder on Saturdays (even all week long) to protect and nurture that Sunday day of rest. And at first I thought: NO! No way! I DESERVE that Saturday sluggish time. *red alert!* Selfishness at its prime!!!! I'm not saying don't slow down on Saturday and I'm not even saying this will work for you, I just mean that putting my own thoughts of "I've worked all week" and "I deserve to slouch around" has been really toxic in our marriage and family. Had to kick that habit and start fresh! It has been retraining my brain how to think. And as always - it's been a great, difficult, worthwhile journey and one that I am still on.
Rest my boy. Sleep so sweet.

Now, this Saturday workday, this can call for a bit thought, maybe more than the weekday, because I really want to respect Tyler's time off of work, but I also see how much more he is recharged when we are home and together on Sundays instead of hanging-out on Saturday. So I try to be as submissive as possible, but also very clear (without being controlling or bossy - very much working on this, still) about the absolutes that need to be done and then say the other things that I would like to see happen but
a. are not pressing
b. not even really necessary
c. I can do fairly easily with the kids in-tow during the week

By shaking off the thoughts that I'm owed time off and by discerning tasks that have to be done versus my fancies has really helped the Saturday work day to be fun (we usually have lunch out or picnic or something special) and thus our Sundays are blissful. Filled with good food, park visits and sometimes the kids have special time with grandparents and me and Tyler get a bit of time to share just the two of us!
Nursery going out of business - most of this is planted and growing now,
but we really got most plants for under a dollar!! Amazing! Good news it is was a hardy, outdoor nursery so these plants are fighting this cold winter with gusto!
I recently read that Katherine Whitaker and her husband do a spousal meeting of whats-happening-this-week on Sunday evenings/nights. We don't really have that much going on, but I think it's a nice idea. I love good communication! And with Saturday as a work day I really think having Sunday to reflect on the upcoming week is so nice and makes for clear goals. This isn't something that needs to happen, but I hope I keep it in mind as our family grows!

I realize I'm so young and still new to marriage, but following the advice of wiser women has really helped me to get my feet on the ground (sometimes barely scraping, but hey! progress!) and I hope it can help anyone who reads this blog! Sunday is so sacred. Even our Creator rested. That's huge. Rest is worthy and good. Let us honor the need we have been created with - the need to recuperate and rest.

Do you and yours use Saturday as a work day? I think that some families actually have their spouses working often on Saturday and I just know if that was my case I would be guarding the day of rest with a sword (spatula?) in hand!


Day Two of the Seven Day Challenge!

3 comments:

  1. Loved this! Although I sadly can't apply it to our current state of life. Any suggestions when your hubby works all weekend? :(

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    1. Oh that's a difficult situation. I can't imagine how hard that can be. I would say to accept every offer for help. Even those people who you might think - they are so busy themselves - just accept! You have a special situation Jen, and yes, just nine short months and really you are half way there! I remember you mentioning a change of job for Logan. I will pray for that intention with more effort and fervor!

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  2. I'm not Catholic so my understanding may be different than yours but, do remember, that your husband is also in service, if not submission, to you as well. He is working all week but you are also working (as well as growing a person). Allowing your husband to serve you can be a blessing to you both if you can work things out that both of you find satisfactory. A couple of things that worked well for my family... 1- My husband does the kid wrangling on Saturday mornings. I, obviously, nurse the nurselings and I might cuddle with the very tinies, but he takes small people to pick up special coffee, makes pancakes, does a quick grocery run for milk (milk somehow became his job), etc. This lets me have a bit of a relaxed morning and he enjoys doing his own thing with the kids. But, we're still basically on schedule. The luxury of drinking a whole cup of coffee and taking a slow shower can be ample indulgence without actually taking all that much time. 2- I get a sabbath. At some point in the weekend, I get 2-3 hours of quiet time. Allen might take the kids to the playground or his mother's or wherever but that little break makes all the difference. I might put away some laundry or make a few stabs at dinner but, mostly, I drink a cup of tea, read a book, and find my center so I can attack the rest of the week with a whole spirit. I also make an effort to have a very easy dinner that day- usually something in a crock pot, a frozen casserole, or the like.

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So glad to hear from you! All conversation is welcomed, within good reason and kind intentions.