This posts first title: Seeking an End to Over-analyzing. Choosing to Live. or I Am So Lame
Sometimes I write this blog thinkin I'm like Oprah Winfrey and the masses consult me...right Sue...because um, clearly you have no idea what's going on in life. Ok. Moving on.
I love to make plans.
I live in Excel spreadsheets.
During the day I'm almost having thoughts of whether certain children shows are best for our children and how we are going to best prepare them for Heaven without driving them over the deep end.
Then I jump to: If I moved, this sofa here than I can put the dining table here.
If we knock this wall down we can increase our family living area and then I will probably have more patience because of the larger amount of room to function in during the day...hmmm...or maybe I would stress because sweeping takes longer than vacumming and that extended space would have to be wood flooring, maybe it isn't worth the extra house work and money?
Do you see.
I think too much.
"I just need to stop thinking and do it."
Maybe you don't stress about responsibility and having good rules in your house and other appropriate things that are spun into the depths of space in epic proportions.
Maybe the future seems bright and open.
Maybe you don't calculate and pinch and squeeze and scrutinize every thought that passes through your mind.
But I do.
Which brings me to this:
Recently I took the Meyers-Briggs Personality test.
In high school I was an ENFJ, but I wonder if I didn't answer questions according to who I wish I was, instead of who I really was.
So I anyway I went back and like truthfully and thoughtfully, but not in an over-thinking sort of way, answered the questions. Not who I want to be, or what I wish I was.
I didn't let myself think too much. I just did it.
And do you know? I'm an ISFJ.
I know, it's like gibberish to me still too.
I'm an Introverted, Sensing, Feeling and Judging person.
|I am quite and introvert and very much a Feeler. I think my Sensing and Judging are not as strong in part to my becoming a momma. I think in a few months or years those two may change.|
But no, they are lovely people. Seriously, who wouldn't want to be my friend ;-)
And so I have taken a deep breath lately.
Fondly realizing that my preference to stay home and read the latest cook book on my night stand is ok and wonderful. That I'm not depressed, that I just recharge quietly.
I like to have a few days (if not a couple weeks) warning that there is going to be more than, say, four adults gathering for company. I mean I might consent to it but I will DEFINITELY say no at first and get all grumpy and then I get over myself and apologize for grumpiness and then we all move-on and get our social on.
My preference is this: a lovely family dinner with another couple and their children. Just bonding, having time for conversation with depth. And not having eighty-million people everywhere. I know. I'm so lame.
Updated with a more in-depth analysis:
But overall, just stop by for coffee one morning, around 9:00am and let's visit while you assist me in keeping track of my precious wee hobbits.
Overall this has really helped me to wiggle more comfortably into my skin.
But I need to keep remembering to allow all aspects of my personality to flourish, not just organization, details and specifics.
I need to relax and enjoy life...God knows what he is doing.
Because I think like this:
And my husband thinks like this:
But that's for another day. ;-)
Thanks for enduring this rambling back-woods post. To come to a conclusion: I am learning who I am, and that, my friends, is so refreshing. I'm sorry this post is jumpy. I can't seem to articulate all that this recent discovery of my personality (and Tyler's) is helping me to understand. It's all good though!
P.S. I am also Phlegmatic-Melancholic. Tyler is Sanguine-Choleric.
Yep, we are oppositeoppositeopposite BUT we have lots of grace flowing from those vows we took a few years back. :)