Sweet Pea, Pumpkin Pie

My Dear Rita,

You are three now. I can't even believe but I am just so enjoying many of the changes that have come with your third birthday.

Momma! I want to exercise with you!

You are so verbal and well spoken and do you ever have every confidence in sharing how you feel. Just the other night over supper this conversation occurred:

Tyler: Rita, you do not talk back to Momma. Now, go and tell her you are sorry.
Rita: Hmm...No thank you.

I'm learning how to care for you while learning to care for myself. And my sweet girl, this is so much harder than I could have imagined but my heart burns and aches with love for you! Right now me and Dada are talking about how you are just the sweetest girl.

Sometimes I'm really impatient with you, and my yelling is too much. (It hurts just to type that.) I try to ward-off the cranky momma monster, but after a night of little people in and out of me and Dada's bed and preparing food four or five times a day and keeping our "big beautiful house," as you say, reasonably clean and making time to read and play with you and Jonah, well, shucks, I get frustrated when I hand you your PJ pants to put on, and you run the other way squealing. But those moments are so critical Rita. I'm learning every day to be more patient, to maybe chase you for a minute, rather than letting myself get frustrated and then I make my request to you again. It's so delightful how light-hearted you are. You really amaze me and I enjoy you so much. I know Jesus is teaching me how to care for your spirit. Thank you for your patience as I work harder at being a more gentle and patient momma. Thank you for showing me the mercy of Christ. You desire His joy for me and that really really touches the depths of my heart. I'm so humbled by how wonderfully and purely you love.

Your laugh, your squeal, your love of outside, your love for strawberries and blueberries, the way you exclaim with joy when we bake together (especially bread!), how you lock eyes with me and tell me "I yuv you so much Momma. I yuv you so much." How just yesterday, as Dada let me drift off to sleep to nap on the sofa, you came to "kiss my sweet Momma" and Jo followed your lead.

Oh, you and Jonah! What a pair! You delight in one another, play so very well together, and already both of you are so crazy over the new baby brother in my womb. Do you know Rita, God-willing, this baby boy will be here in under 10 weeks? You helped me and Dada choose the name for this baby. Only one name out of the eight or nine we really considered stuck with you - and before we knew it we were addressing this baby by that same name. How incredible!

You are doing ballet now, as of your third birthday, and you really really love it. And I'm so glad! Jonah and I just hang-out while you dance. We love to watch the TV and giggle over your enthusiasm! Your teacher is strict, but you really do like her, and ask to go to ballet almost every day of the week. Dada really wanted this for you - and I'm so glad about it too!

You are sunshine in my day when you wake up and want to be held, cuddling into my arms wearing your long-sleeve flannel nightgown. Or how we sometimes share a cup of coffee milk and talk about how you slept and the dreams you had. Sweet memories in the making. You love to help me move laundry from the washer to the dryer and you enjoy comparing the handfuls of clothes:
Towels and a shirt: "Oh momma, this is a BIG lotsa (lots of) clothes."
A few socks: "Oh momma, this is a tiny piece of clothes."

You enjoy Little Bear books and the TV shows and have a blast playing Little Bear adventures - and I love watching and listening as Little Bear's adventures morph into your own adventures. You are also crazy over Curious George - and have been for almost two years!

You have memorized the book The Carrot Seed and Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?
You like to pretend you are the violet cat, Jo is the goldfish, Dada the green frog and me the teacher. We love playing with you!

Momma! Take my picture!

Today we played and you were Princess Bees-ba, Jo was King KiKi, and I was a fairy. You asked me to tell you my name, so I chose Fairy Fleur. The names you come-up with are hysterical - as though you have Viking blood in you! Your first three barbies you named Greeva, Feeva and Cheeva. And you stand by those names!

Outside time in the garden really captivates you - for supper we cut greens from the garden and you carried them in the colander, into the house all by yourself! You are just so fantastic.

Surprised about something - I can't remember what it was! Maybe a lawnmower?! 

It's time for bed now my girl. I love you so much. Every day I get to know you more. Please keep praying your sweet prayers for me. Please keep asking Mary and Jesus "to help Momma not to yell" and never stop reminding me to "Look momma, look at Mary and Jesus. See, they are not yelling."

As I grow alongside Dada, I also grow with you and learn with you each day. I'm hoping we can paint tomorrow, and I know I should tell you after breakfast, because otherwise you will be too excited to eat! :)

I love you, I love you. I love you. I hope that as we grow I am always someone you can confidently approach and totally trust.

Thank you for teaching me the beauty of love and forgiveness. Thank you for showing me that I am worthy of love, despite however imperfect I may be.

Forever and always you are my sweet pea and my pumpkin pie.

How Cell Phones Have Improved My Arguing

Like many people, I almost prefer text messages to phone calls. Phone calls seem so urgent and pressing and...did the ringing phone just wake the baby because I might just sit and cry. I know. Pathetic. So mostly my phone is on silent and I text message. And voice mails? We really shouldn't even pay for the service!

ANYWAY. 

I process better when I talk or write, which has made text messaging a real blessing. I can sit there all hot and angry and "write" a massive message, then put the phone down (away from little people) and come back to it when I've calmed down. 9/10 of the time I just delete the message - it isn't about causing conflict, it's just about the need to express how I feel and if that is to my cell phone, then so be it. 

This has been especially helpful in my marriage. I can look at what I have ready to send and think, gosh that sounds ugly/negative/whiny/ungrateful/bossy and hopefully I reword it or, as mentioned, delete it entirely! We are all the better for it!

Have you found the same thing - that typing (writing) your thoughts helps you to internalize what it is you are actually communicating?

Happy Day 1 of Bloggity Blog Challenge!

P.S. This was a post started in Autumn of 2012!

Hoarders, Satsumas, Marriage, Cookies, Advent - Basically, Everything

Oh! Fashion post!...2014, hopefully.

'Cause its just done gone and got crazy on me.

Here is basically a stream of consciousness post.

Because posing for pictures is not fun, Mom.

Ok I watched an episode of Hoarders, and it kept me up for about an hour with anxiety - like the kind you get after a thrilling/scary movie.

Y'all.  If you or someone you know has this weakness (we ALL have our weaknesses) please pray for them and ask the Holy Spirit how to approach them. It's so sad.

Something happy!

Ok, well, I mean, grab a box of tissue and read this article by Hallie at Moxie Wife. But it's BEAUTIFUL.  Hallie Lord has an uncanny ability to hit the nail on the head every time. Not all authors/bloggers are this way (trust me - blog reading is like my favorite past time) but Hallie has an amazing gift.

What else?

Yummy-Nummy! Top-right is a cookie cake 'cause a friend has taught me that having a random cake in the freezer is so wonderfully and surprisingly awesome.

I'm baking these cookies right now. Specifically the second recipe (we have used white cake and yellow cake and both worked great, but the cookies get HUGE, totally not complaining about that though!).
Delicious. Delicious. Delicious.
And wonderfully simple!

Jo has hit the destructive-curious-get-into-everything-unplug-and-replug-wreck-the-house-and-finish-with-the-sweetest-chubby-smile stage. It's great and umm messy, to say the least. And I'm losing a few brain cells. To be expected, no?

Satsuma season is in full swing and our intestines are bursting with high-fiber deliciousness.
Remember my ode to satsumas?

must.stop.eating.cookies.

Please keep praying for the sale of this house, although a new location has not been secured. Never fear. We are not concerned (cough-sputter-laugh). ok ok Tyler is way less concerned and I'm just piggy-backing on his confidence.

sidenote: Jonah is running around with a crayon. I continue to blog, because sanity must reign supreme.

Static TV? Unplugged gaming system? Yes, please, says Jonah.

"BOOM!" Translation: He wants to watch football. Already. (face palm) 

"Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley is sort of scary for a two-year old sing-mimicking, well at least hearing it is creepy. That would be a thumbs-down Pandora. Thanks. Alan Jackson? Much better.

I really really really hope that you have a great Thanksgiving! Hoping these cake-mix cookies make a good contribution.

Advent is Sunday! I know!

I have a few great ideas on pinterest and last year I snagged one of these off of the clearance rack. El cheapo. Pretty much my life attempt is to become a cheapskate since moving in this house. Slow getting there, (read: morning sickness, newborns, etc.) but there is hope yet!
Anyway...stale chocolate all Advent? CHECK!

Happy Thanksgiving!

St. Matthew, pray for us!
St. Joseph, pray for us!
All you holy angels and saints of God, pray for us!

22 Days (Don't Check my Math)

Can we start with this:

Ok so October was awesome.

November (BOOM!) I totally blew the budget. Long-awaited purchases (read: underwear, socks, socks, a comforter for Rita, baskets for holding Tyler's gaming equipment and Rita's toys, etc.). Y'all these purchases aren't like I went and bought a computer (ours works 80% great). Our budget is just tight and now this massive dog we have literally eats and eats more and more. It's sorta scary. Like, is the dog worth it? I know that's controversial. Moving on. 

And now you're like...

Um, Sue? Pardon me, but did you notice we're still smack in the middle of November?

Oh yes dear. I'm quite aware.

My sweet husband. I just know my irresponsibility really brings him sadness and stress.

Girls, if your ability to spend within a set amount is like mine, then do something about it. Because when you are married one day, you do not want the OVERTIME your husband works to be the money that covers your bad choices.

Wow, this is like way deeper than I meant to get.

Apologies. You can totally click the little red "x"in the corner. I understand.

So if you're still there, I HAVE A RESOLUTION!

I am not going to spend money unless Tyler tells me that I have to. That I must load our kiddos in the car, drive to destination of his saying and purchase whatever he says.

For 22 days.

22?

I was in the check-out line last night and I thought...I need Tyler's help. But he can't tell his wife no (BECAUSE HE IS THAT MUCH OF A PRECIOUS WONDERFUL SWEET MAN IN LOVE *swoon!*). So, instead of telling me no - he has to be the one to say "yes, we need, now go and get x, y, z"." 

I will certainly let you know how this goes.  Is it funny it has been TWO years that I have been pursuing submission and I'm justjustjust starting to get a glimpse into how horrid I am at it? Maybe. Whatever it is, it's true.

On that note, here are the specs:

• no online purchases
• no Christmas shopping
• no grocery shopping
• no shoe shopping
• no
• no
• no

I certainly have an issue with hearing "no," so pray for me will ya? It's gonna be a great way to start Advent. I just know it. :)

Why through December 10th? In the line at the grocery yesterday I said a prayer and asked the Lord to help me...and December 10th jumped into my brain. So, there you have it.

Hopes:

• I exercise more
• We visit family more
• I bake more (Christmas gifts - I'm thinking yes!)
• I spend more time with kids
• I read more

We will see. How much has spending been consuming me? Time will tell.

Happy Tuesday!!!!! Go! Make a goal! Challenge yourself! This is it! Today, now. It's your life. 

Live awesome and amazingly!

To my husband,

I will never be able to put into words the disappointment and simultaneous forgiveness that was in your eyes as I yet again confessed to reaching beyond my boundaries, letting the tidal wave of discontentment crash over my soul.

Please forgive me.

I want nothing more than to bring you happiness and joy and the hope of life-everlasting.

You are my lover and soul-mate.

For your kindness and forgiveness and undying love, I am forever grateful.

-Sue

Saint Matthew, pray for us!

"ISFJ" or Random That You Don't Have to Endure

This posts first title: Seeking an End to Over-analyzing. Choosing to Live. or I Am So Lame

Sometimes I write this blog thinkin I'm like Oprah Winfrey and the masses consult me...right Sue...because um, clearly you have no idea what's going on in life. Ok. Moving on.
----------------------------------------------
I love to make plans.

I live in Excel spreadsheets.

During the day I'm almost having thoughts of whether certain children shows are best for our children and how we are going to best prepare them for Heaven without driving them over the deep end.

Then I jump to: If I moved, this sofa here than I can put the dining table here.
If we knock this wall down we can increase our family living area and then I will probably have more patience because of the larger amount of room to function in during the day...hmmm...or maybe I would stress because sweeping takes longer than vacumming and that extended space would have to be wood flooring, maybe it isn't worth the extra house work and money?

Do you see.

I think too much.

And so, today once upon like umm a long time ago, while commenting on a blog post, I wrote:

"I just need to stop thinking and do it." 

Maybe you don't stress about responsibility and having good rules in your house and other appropriate things that are spun into the depths of space in epic proportions.

Maybe the future seems bright and open.

Maybe you don't calculate and pinch and squeeze and scrutinize every thought that passes through your mind.

But I do.

Which brings me to this:
Recently I took the Meyers-Briggs Personality test.  
In high school I was an ENFJ, but I wonder if I didn't answer questions according to who I wish I was, instead of who I really was.

So I anyway I went back and like truthfully and thoughtfully, but not in an over-thinking sort of way, answered the questions.  Not who I want to be, or what I wish I was.

I didn't let myself think too much.  I just did it. 

And do you know? I'm an ISFJ.

A what?

I know, it's like gibberish to me still too.

I'm an Introverted, Sensing, Feeling and Judging person.

I am quite and introvert and very much a Feeler.  I think my Sensing and Judging are not as strong in part to my becoming a momma.  I think in a few months or years those two may change.

I NEVER NEVER NEVER thought I was an introvert.  Aren't they hermits? Recluses? (Chattering teeth of nervousness).

But no, they are lovely people. Seriously, who wouldn't want to be my friend ;-)

And so I have taken a deep breath lately.

Fondly realizing that my preference to stay home and read the latest cook book on my night stand is ok and wonderful.  That I'm not depressed, that I just recharge quietly.

I now understand why when friends invite us for dinner and then surprise(!) two other couples are joining us and there is a group of eight, I just want to scarf food down and run home.  

I like to have a few days (if not a couple weeks) warning that there is going to be more than, say, four adults gathering for company. I mean I might consent to it but I will DEFINITELY say no at first and get all grumpy and then I get over myself and apologize for grumpiness and then we all move-on and get our social on.

My preference is this: a lovely family dinner with another couple and their children. Just bonding, having time for conversation with depth. And not having eighty-million people everywhere. I know. I'm so lame.

Updated with a more in-depth analysis:

Your personality type: ISFJ.
Strength of individual traits: 

Introversion - 27%, Sensing - 31%, Feeling - 31%, Judging - 11%.

There is NOTHING wrong with preferring a large group of people and lots of pleasant and joyous chit chat and flowing from one hub-bub of friends to the next. I even enjoy that a few times a year.

But overall, just stop by for coffee one morning, around 9:00am and let's visit while you assist me in keeping track of my precious wee hobbits.

Overall this has really helped me to wiggle more comfortably into my skin.

But I need to keep remembering to allow all aspects of my personality to flourish, not just organization, details and specifics.

I need to relax and enjoy life...God knows what he is doing.

Because I think like this:

And my husband thinks like this:

But that's for another day. ;-)


Thanks for enduring this rambling back-woods post. To come to a conclusion: I am learning who I am, and that, my friends, is so refreshing. I'm sorry this post is jumpy. I can't seem to articulate all that this recent discovery of my personality (and Tyler's) is helping me to understand. It's all good though!

P.S. I am also Phlegmatic-Melancholic. Tyler is Sanguine-Choleric.
Yep, we are oppositeoppositeopposite BUT we have lots of grace flowing from those vows we took a few years back. :)

Helpful sites:
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/what-s-my-mbti-type/23428-isfj-vs-isfp-vs-infp-one.html
http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISFJ_per.html
http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISFJ.html
http://homeschooling.penelopetrunk.com/2013/01/30/5-reasons-you-should-use-myers-briggs-to-parent/
http://watchlizzyblowupthekitchen.blogspot.com/2012/05/isfj-fun-facts.html
http://www.16personalities.com/isfj-personality 
http://www.erictb.info/temperament1s.html

Fashion. There, I said it! (And a must-read blog post)

So in between run-of-the-mill every-day drama of the neighbor texting me about our constant barking dog...seriously...MY dog.  Yes, OUR dog, but me, I'm the one who pushed and whined and beg and so...my dog...I make such mess for myself. Anyway, between those texts, the laundry, diapers, cooking, the dishes, feeding people, diapers, keeping up on my blog-reading, feeding people, potty accidents and diaper changes, more cooking, and not slipping to my eminent death on a chunky bright green Lego block, I've started to venture into the world of fashion (I know, if you know me, its like chirping crickets right now).

You're thinking:  
Sue, fashion?
Really?

I know, I know!

But y'all, come on.

Here is a truth that applies to me: If I look frumpalicious, I feel just like the dog bombs that are all (ALL!) over our yard. 

Anne of MMD and Dweej of {House Unseen} have both blogged on this topic of dressing for the day, and both are worth reading.

Then there are those days where I get-up, put on some pandora, dish-out goldfish and yogurt and grapes for breakfast and then dress presentably (and of course practically) and put on a little make-up (read: concealer and mascara. done.) - well those days I just find it so much easier to breathe, relax and not flip a lid when at 7:00pm at night Rita makes "tracks" on the table...with yogurt...using her feet. Thanks Curious George. You save my hiney and then come back and bite me. awesome-not-awesome.

Anyway, FASHION!

Laura, who is probably the coolest lawyer-mom combo ever has been doing such awesome posts, as well as having guest-posts on her blog, all about mom-fashion! Read her awesomeness here: This Felicitous Life.  You should totally check her out!

So I've read lots there.

Ain't No Mom Jeans and Camp Patton are super for fashion tips (and endless laughs and snorts, of solidarity, with CP) and read so easily.

And then I realized one day (was it Monday?) that I don't know what body shape I am.

And y'all...downdowndowndown into the world of fashion I did spiral!

Then I rose from the blackhole with an answer:
HOURGLASS!

Am I sure?

Measure three times...at three different times of day and yes, hourglass.

So then like any sensible girl I googled "celebrity hourglass fashion"

....(suspenseful pause a.k.a. spotty internet coverage)

MARILYN MONROE!!

My brain flow: What?? It's like recommendations to walk around in my undergarments...I mean really...and Beyonce is next in line for "hourglass" figure? Well hello-goodbye modesty!

Only Laura pulled me right up from the spiral when this exchange happened:

 

And she naturally made a sensible suggestion of Marilyn's pre-crazy Hollywood days - when Norma Jean wore actual clothes.

Not Laura's actual suggestion...but another example of Marilyn clothed!

Except then Laura sent an email

to me

containing

...(actual suspense)...

this beauty:

Rita's photo commentary: "Momma! It's a silly butterfly on this. And you're gonna wear butterfly wings to fly. Yes you did."

So, Laura, you'll be doing our Christmas outfit shopping and photo cards...
Louisiana Family a la Hollywood! haha!! ;-)

But really, come back next week to feast your eyes on the evolution of my fashion in motherhood!

And PLEASE read this awesome article that Bonnie wrote - please. please. please. 
Bonnie, I hear you. Choosing to be kind and generous round the clock. I too was a great babysitter but find myself being more like dynamite now that I'm a mom. I haven't looked into therapy or medication because I always think that maybe it will just clear-up on its own... probably not the best idea.
Thanks for your humility, Bonnie - I think that it might be just what other moms (ME!) need to hear. You're such a cool cat! (I hope you like cats...otherwise that just might be a terrible compliment - but I mean it in the best possible way!) :-D

Now I REALLY need to go put Monday's laundry away and mop the floors, so, ta-ta!!!! And please say a prayer because we show the house tomorrow!!! And pray for a friend whose baby is having heart surgery on Thursday! Ok ok! off to Mt. Clothesvius