Friday, December 21, 2012

Love Matters

My sweet cousin and his wife had us over for dinner tonight at their adorable first home.  Even cuter is their sweet little 19 month old girl who Rita had a total blast with!

As I walked into their bathroom I saw one of those happy-excited-talk-and-sing-and-totally-get-crazy-when-you-void potty training toilets. And guess what? 

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter that the earthy/attachment websites I consult bash these potties.

It doesn't matter that we use a super old school potty.

It doesn't matter that we have friends that use a Baby Bjorn potty.

It doesn't matter that sometimes I cloth diapers and other times I use disposables.

It doesn't matter if I keep updating you on my pendulum decisions about diapering.

It doesn't matter that I only have time/remember to EC with Jonah a few times a week.

It doesn't matter that Rita is 23 months and not potty-trained.

It doesn't matter that her 19 month old cousin is nearly potty-trained.

It just doesn't matter.

Poop grosses me out.

Rita was so nearly potty-trained but as she gravitated to inspect poop in the potty I lost my cool a few too many times.

And so guess what?

I've decided it just doesn't matter.

Potty training isn't a big deal for me anymore.

I was so impressed that our Chinese neighbors in married housing potty-trained their girls by 18 months.  I really really wanted that.  And I didn't consider Rita or my own limits.

My baby Jonah isn't even six months old.  I can give myself a break.  I can let go.  I can be grateful for a child that has the potential to potty train.  I can be grateful for a child with healthy voids.

Sometimes Rita potties and sometimes she doesn't.

Sometimes she asks for panties and sometimes she whines for a diaper.

I just have way more important issues like eating healthy balanced meals, reading with my babies, rocking my babies, washing laundry, doing dishes, praying the Angelus at noon, teaching Rita Catholic prayers, making time to set-up painting for Rita, playing patty-cake with Jonah, singing and dancing with my babies to Christmas music.

Sweet Rita and St. Francis

Thank you Jesus for using Advent to teach me this.  Thank you Lord for your love that sees far far far beyond my shortcomings as a wife, mother, friend and daughter.   Thank you Jesus for helping me to understand my priorities right now (which are very different from and should NEVER be compared to anyone else).  Thank you for teaching me that love is what matters.


  1. Great post :)

    Our Amelia is almost 4 an nowhere near potty-trained. I am embarrassed by it most of the time but lately I keep remembering that we have a speech and language delay. She may be almost 4 but as far as speech and communication go she is at the level of a 2-year-old. So...taking that into consideration I feel we are really not *that* far behind but that is soooo hard to remember when you have mamas, right in front of you, comparing your children born just weeks apart. You are right, LOVE is really all that matters :)

    Enjoy the rest of this Christmas season!

    1. Thanks Shelley!

      Merry Christmas to you! I hope that retail left you off for the day today!!!

      Thank you for sharing about your sweet Amelia. She is so darling to read about! I think that she is doing GREAT!!! Delays of any sort can be so challenging (I imagine). I am just so glad to know she has such a loving momma to support her as she develops at her own Amelia pace!

      Love, love love.

      A seminarian friend of ours has said that "Love" is what he has learned most in his six or more years of theological schooling. How beautiful that even with degrees of all sorts that the greatest message of Jesus Christ prevails: love.


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